Chapter 3.35 – Question Everything

Jessica jolted herself awake a second before her face would’ve hit her desk. She shook her head and gave herself a hard smack on the cheek, but it was a poor substitute for a full energy bar.

The previous night had taken its toll. After Beth had arrived – with a little old lady in tow, for some reason – she had given her and the GliTS a once over and ordered them to leave the area.

Jessica had eventually made it home in the small hours, having been given a lift back to her place by the GliTS in their painted van that was in no way whatsoever a poor man’s Mystery Mobile. They’d offered to stay the night, to check she was alright, but Jessica had sent them on their way. She’d claimed she was fine. Reminded them that she was a police officer; that homicide was all part of the job. And that after their crazy night, she’d surely sleep like the dead.

She’d spent the night counting and recounting the tassels on her bedspread as her mind replayed the moment she’d found Will over and over. Jessica hadn’t been to any kind of police academy, or had any real training. She’d seen an advert online and applied. Chase had barely interviewed her. And no amount of dead minks or real crime documentaries could’ve prepared her for what it’d be like to set eyes on her first human corpse.

Yawning, she tapped her computer back to life to check again if there had been any progress on today’s breaking news. She didn’t want to look; she didn’t want to see Paul’s face on her screen. She didn’t want to be reminded of seeing Will hanging in that tree. She wanted to forget it all happened.

But she couldn’t.

This morning, on her bus ride, Jessica encountered the usual people. The man who stared at her but didn’t say anything. The woman who had knitted a hat out of bin bags. She’d been afraid to talk to anyone, not trusting herself. Yesterday, these had all been normal people, but today? Were they alive? Were they ghosts? Jessica had no idea.

Had Paul’s ghost been a figment of her imagination? And if it wasn’t, what did that mean?

Jessica scrolled idly through the news; wild speculation was mixed with fact – yet it was the fact that was the strangest. Fighting to keep her eyes open, Jessica was considering drinking a cup of coffee for the first time in years, when she heard the police reception door buzz open.

“Why are you here?”

“Good morning to you, too.”

“No, I mean…”

Beth held up her hand. “Saggy Balls didn’t give me a choice.” She pulled up a chair and fixed Jessica with her steely gaze. “How did you find him, Jess?”

Jessica swallowed hard. “H-he was dead—”

“No shit,” Beth sucked in a breath, “I mean, how did you know he was there? And don’t give me any of that ‘found him by accident’ crap.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“You know with all the weird crap going on, I probably would,” Beth said. “Try me. What happened?”

“But if Mum isn’t speaking to ghosts then who is she speaking to?”


“No, she can’t be. She knows things. They teach her things. They—”

“—have driven her mad. It’s for your mother’s own good, Jessica.”

“I happened upon him by chance,” Jessica explained. “When we were looking for mushroom people.”

Beth sat back and eyed Jessica suspiciously. “And you just happened to know that Paul was deep in the ravine?”

Jessica nodded. “Morag spotted that.”

“I see,” Beth said quietly. “Wasn’t that convenient.”

Jessica nodded again. She tried to unfazed, but she wasn’t sure she was succeeding. “How was your little mission going last night?” she asked, changing subject. “Before I called? Did I blow your cover?”

“My cover?” Beth tensed up.

“Tailing Wilbur?”

“Oh!” Beth gushed; relief evident. “That. Oh, yeah,” she said dismissively, “the old scrote is having an affair.”

“He is?”

“He is. And you should’ve seen the bimbo; some surgeon has made a killing from her,” Beth said, still looking distracted. “My digging on her shows that her previous husband – her third – was a ninety-five-year-old millionaire who died on Saturday.”

“What?” Jessica asked, alarmed. “This Saturday just gone?”

“Some people really don’t hang around do they?” Beth said then paused before she laughed awkwardly. “And some people do. Hang around, that is. Ha!”

At Jessica’s cringing, Beth sucked in a breath, swallowing her laugh. “Too soon?”

Beth ran her fingernail along the wood grain on the desk as Jessica stared at her blank monitor, unsure what to say.

“Drained dry and hung by his guts, like some sort of pig,” Beth whispered. “Wow. He had really pissed someone off, hey?”

“That’s Will. Biggest asshole this side of Windenburg… Save your sympathy; he’s the reason I’m dead.”

“I guess,” Jessica said quietly.

“I wonder if it was April and her friends,” Beth mused, as if making a great revelation. “And, if it was, I wonder what he did to them. Ugh, I shouldn’t immediately go to that but, well, he had form shall we say.” She leaned back in her chair. “His kidney was missing. And they’d mutilated his, y’know.” She whistled and pointed to her lap.

Jessica felt her face grow hot. “Um, what?”

“Yeah. Why would you do that to a man unless he’d, well…” she shrugged. “Some sort of sexual revenge? Not so sure about the kidney; sold on the black market?” Beth laughed. “But even if we narrow the list of suspects down to women he’d screwed and then screwed over, or narrow it down to body thieves, or, crap, even if we narrow it down to body thieves he’d screwed and screwed over, it’s probably still a huge list.”  

By this point, Jessica was hyperventilating. How was she supposed to progress here? What was she supposed to say?

Beth could see her struggling and, mercifully, made her own assumption.

“I’m sorry, Jess,” she said softly. “You’ve had enough of a shock; you don’t need me pouring my nonsense theories on you. I bet you hear enough of them already with your new club. Why don’t you head on home?”

“N-no,” Jessica stammered. “I’m OK. I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

“…I really appreciate that. I didn’t think… it’d be this hard.”

The two women sat in silence for a while. The weight of their respective thoughts, worries and preoccupations filling the bland space around them.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Beth,” Jessica offered, with every sincerity. Will might have been, by all testimony, a horrible man, but loss was never about the one gone, it was always about the ones left plugging their gap. “How… how did everyone take the news?”

Beth blew a strand of hair from her eyes. “Predictably underwhelmingly. That family.” She shook her head. “When I was a kid, back in the village, my pet lizard died and my whole family mourned that thing. We had a burial ritual for Wriggly. Pa carved a little memorial stone and added it to the ancestral wall. My brothers carried the cardboard coffin between them to the pyre. Ma closed shop for the afternoon to join in; she conducted a blessing ceremony. For a lizard.”

Beth drifted into a reverie, speaking from somewhere else. “And yet Wilbur’s complaining about having to stump up for a funeral for his son. His only son. He’ll do it, of course, gotta play his part; but it’s not out of love. There’s no love in that family, Jess. Thankfully, Willy is far too young to understand that Daddy’s gone. Not that the bugger was ever really around. You know, he probably thinks the postman is his daddy.”

Jessica chewed her lip, her next question felt so insensitive, but she just had to know. “Beth, why did you, um…?”

“Marry Will?” Beth finished for her. She fixed with Jessica with an intense stare. “That’s a loaded question.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Quit apologising, Jess. You’re a cop; it’s your job to question everything.” She rocked back in her chair. “I did it for my family.”

“Your family wanted you to marry Will?”

Beth smiled with a sadness. “Actually, most of them didn’t. It’s complicated.”

Silence fell on them again, but this time it was Beth who broke it. “Do you know much about your family, Jess?”

“Not really. I never knew my dad, but my mum says I’m not missing anything.” Jessica shifted in her chair. “It was just me and Mum growing up. She’s…”

…always heard voices, talked to dead people, claimed to be over one hundred.

“…Not very well. Mentally. Hasn’t been for most of my life.”

“That’s a tough break. What about further back? Grandparents?”

Jessica couldn’t explain why at that moment, she felt so offended and so wary. “No, they’re dead,” she answered, thinking hard. “Why do you ask? Is this something to do with my surname? Wilbur said Spoon with distaste when I last spoke to him.”

“He says most things with distaste,” Beth replied, not really an answer. “Wow. I can’t imagine having no family, with just your mother. Still, I suppose you can always talk to your ghosts. Anyway, you look like crap, Jessica. Can I get you coffee?”

“Shouldn’t it be me fetching you coffee?”

“I can fetch my own damn coffee. I need to keep these hands busy before I start a hurricane.”

“A hurricane?”

“Figure of speech.” Beth shrugged. “So, let’s get coffee – and a donut, why not embrace some stereotypes? And then shall we get cracking on that nursery? With all this drama, I might need to bring Willy here sooner rather than later.”

“Sure,” Jessica replied, following Beth from the room, her heart fluttering and her nerves on edge.

“You can always talk to your ghosts.”

Jessica was sure she hadn’t mentioned that.

Caleb cleared his throat, suddenly nervous as he faced her. He focused on her face, staring at her almost unsettlingly, to prevent his attention wandering. “You are the most beautiful thing—”

“I’m not a thing.”

“Ah, right,” he hissed and tried again. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on.”


“And I will appreciate that beauty from a respectful distance until you are ready to be closer.”

“Aww, Caleb,” Melinda giggled in a way she hoped was flirtatious, although she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. “Do you mean that?”

“Ah,” he scratched his head, breaking his role. “You want me to honest with April, yes?”

Melinda smiled. “Honest but kind.”

“Honest but kind, all right,” he nodded. “Well, actually April, your mother was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Holy hell, she was hard to resist.” He faltered when he saw Melinda’s face fall. “But you are a very close second! And ugh!” he growled as Melinda’s shoulders dropped. “Oh, to hell with it, Melinda. I can’t do it. You can’t be honest and kind.”

“You can!” Melinda encouraged him, stopping him before he broke yet another vase in his frustration. “Just stay calm. You were doing OK, until you started leering at her dead Mum; I was beginning to feel special.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, it’s nice to hear someone say you’re pretty, April deserves to hear that, so do say that, just don’t make it all about that. Do reiterate that she has a decision; that was good. Just don’t compare her to her mother. Ever.”

“Noted,” he nodded firmly, as if stamping this instruction in his memory. Buoyed by Melinda’s watery smile, he grinned. “So, if you’re feeling special and respected, mission accomplished, yes? That means I can kiss you now, right?”

“Um, n— Caleb—!”

Melinda wriggled from his hold, thumping his chest until he got the message.

“…I’ve messed up again, haven’t I?”

“Caleb,” Melinda gasped, her lips still tingling from the force of his kiss and her voice raspy from having her lungs swiftly emptied. “Don’t you dare do that to me again.”

“I didn’t kiss you, Melinda,” Caleb made a face as if the idea was revolting. “I kissed ‘April’.”

“I’m answering as ‘April’,” Melinda shuddered. “You know what, I think that’s enough lesson for one day. We need to get back to work.”

For the second time, Melinda swiftly ran away from Caleb having just touched his mouth with her own. And for the second time, it left her feeling very confused. On the one hand, ick, but on the other…

She sprinted down the stairs, into the cauldron room, intending to zip through it back to the studio where she could hide and pretend that she hadn’t sort-of-not-really-kind-of liked kissing her friend’s boyfriend. Again. But she didn’t get that far; stopped by the undeniable metallic scent that was lingering in the basement air. Her feet wandered to the cauldron like they were possessed.

“What is that smell?” she whispered, as if being too loud would break the spell.

“We’ve just added a cup of blood,” April whispered back. “Doesn’t it smell so yummy?”

“Yeah,” Wyatt said, gagging. “Smells great. So, we can add blood to this potion, but not all potions because…?”

“Oh! Oh!” April said excitedly, hopping up and down. “I know this one!” She turned to Melinda, looking sure and knowledgeable. “It’s because this potion only targets the body and not the spirit or soul.”

“Correct!” Wyatt called, rolling the word like a gameshow host. He handed April a cup. “And for your prize, you can lick the beaker.”

“Yay!” April squealed, bringing the vessel to her lips.

Wyatt grimaced, trying not to watch as he stirred the cauldron. “Now, if we’ve done this right, it should start to turn red… yep, there it goes.”

Melinda peered into the cauldron, watching the mixture transition from blush to bright crimson as the room flooded with a hazy red glow.

“It worked!” April enthused.

“Yeah, it worked.”

“So what’s the next step?” April asked eagerly.

“Nothing,” Wyatt said. “One erythrocyte elixir, done and done. No more rationing for you lot and no more wooziness for us.” He dipped his finger into the bowl and sampled a bit. “Shoot, that’s rancid.”

“What happens if we drink it?” Melinda asked, watching the potion bubble gently.

“No idea. Maybe it’ll do nothing, maybe it’ll make you grow a new head. Wanna try?”

“Can we try it on Caleb?” April giggled.

“Heh, yeah, later. First we need to bottle all this up, clean the pot and then we can get started on the cure.”

“I can do that! And ooh! The cure! What’s going in there? First we start with a base potion, yes?”

Wyatt smiled. “Yeah, check you out, potion master.”

“Have you figured out the ingredients you need, yet?” Melinda enquired.

“Not exactly,” Wyatt admitted. “We have a few ideas, like I know that, symbolically, we’ll probably need something to offer to appease death, something that symbolises re-birth, maybe? I dunno. Making a new potion is pretty trial-and-error.”

“It is?” Melinda asked, alarmed. “Do things go wrong?”

“All the time! I’d be very surprised if I don’t blow it up at least a dozen times, but…”

“…That’s the fun part!” April finished his sentence.

“Right, I’m gonna go take a nap before Hoggy comes by later. We’ll all talk, see what combo we’ll try first. Apes, you OK to bottle the rest of this up? The labels are on the shelf there next to Skully.”

“Yes, Wy, no problem.”

“Cheers me dear. Laters,” Wyatt waved and left the room.

“We’ll be cured in no time, Mel,” April said, her voice almost trembling with glee. “Oh! Then maybe I’ll have magic! Oh my goodness! I can’t wait!”

Melinda looked at the wall of blooms, of the cupboards stocked full of gems and rocks and powders and heck-knows-what. She thought of all the ingredients in the world, of all the mind-bending combinations, of how long ‘trial-and-error’ could take. Could it mean that it might not happen at all? After all, Lilith and Sage had known each other for centuries and Lilith hadn’t been cured.

She wanted to tell April not to get her hopes up so high. She watched her humming a cheerful little ditty to herself as she waved her hands around, casting imaginary spells.

She looked so happy; really, genuinely happy.

Melinda couldn’t say anything. She murmured something that sounded like positive agreement and left quietly to rain on her own parade.

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9 thoughts on “Chapter 3.35 – Question Everything

  1. Did… did Beth just mention Jessica seeing ghosts without Jessica ever alluding to that? Oh, yes, she did. Jessica herself noticed, too. The easiest link here would be that the Wangshafts (who are running that blasted tower) have a document on her mum, Beth has read it, and now assumes Jessica has the same ailment as her mother.

    But I don’t think that’s the whole picture here. Beth is High Priestess and we’ve seen even that even Wyatt, who is at the bottom of the witchy totem pole, is aware of what has happened to Bob Spoon. I wonder if Jessica is a direct descendant, or if she’s a branch of the same family. Either way, her mother claiming to be over a hundred is too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. Which makes me wonder – why aren’t they in the coven? Were they banished together with Bob for meddling with things, and are her descendants collateral damage? Did they leave of their own accord? What happened there? 🤔

    Beth keeps getting more and more interesting. I wonder if marrying Will and getting into the Wangshaft family was a crucial move to get power or influence over something. That most of her family actually didn’t want her to do it makes it even more interesting. Will look forward to getting to the bottom of this particular onion. Also, a hurricane, huh?

    [And I will respect that from a respectable distance until you are ready.] RESPECTABLE DISTANCE. UNTIL YOU ARE READY. RESPEC- CALEB. CALEB!!!! 😡
    Oh my gods why does he make me want to break my head through my keyboard so bad? I know why. He is the definition of a middle schooler who wants something and, instead of learning what he needs to understand, only learns what he knows his teacher wants to hear so he can get the thing. Also oh my gods he really went to mentioning her mother, did he? Talk about crushing any self-esteem April might have had. Thank the gods Melinda told him not to do that. Then again… knowing Caleb… *headdesk *

    Does April know they’re doing this? She doesn’t, right? They’d better make sure that she doesn’t barge in on them “practicing” for April’s sake.

    April getting excited about potion making is so darn adorable. It’s the perfect thing for her, too. A way of bonding with Wyatt, a new skill to learn and a new part of her that she can shape without being tainted with her mother in any way whatsoever.

    Boo. Don’t be such a partypooper, Melinda. If you look at everything with a glass-half-empty look, the entire world will drain of colour. You have to hold on to hope where you have it, Melindog. I, for one, share Wyatt’s enthusiasm this time around. Also because we have one bit of knowledge that Melly doesn’t: it’s very likely that those centuries of not being able to cure Lilith mean nothing, because Sage might have sabotaged it. Wyatt and Broof are both very motivated to find a cure. And this time, if Sage messes with things, they will probably notice. There will probably be all kinds of things that can and will ruin everything for now I’m going to be hopefully optimistic. Yes. I am. 😬

    Oh look, wrote a novel again. Woops 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You could be right, could be a straightforward ‘she’s as loopy as her mum’ kind of assumption or you could also be right that it is linked to Bob. “I wonder if Jessica is a direct descendant, or if she’s a branch of the same family.” Good question, I’m sure there’s an answer around here somewhere.

      Yes, a hurricane. Is this not a figure of speech over there? ‘Hey, I’d better stay busy or I’ll start a hurricane!’ No? 😆

      I love you virtually yelling at Caleb. Shame he can’t hear you. That is exactly what he’s like yes; he just learns what to say/do/say he does to get people off his back without really understanding or absorbing it. Can Melindog change him? Can anyone?

      Yay! I did ‘adorable’. April and Wyatt have all sorts of cute sentiments going on and yup, you’re totally right – you do have information Melinda doesn’t have. So, is that where your bet is? Finding a cure and living happily ever after? 😉


  2. Awww. The lizard thing is so sweet. Poor Beth, giving a family like that up for… that. I wonder, when she says it was for family, did the Wangshafts plan on causing trouble to the Free? They really oughta stay in Windenburg. Hmm… so Beth is the “or else,” is she.

    Either way, I feel pretty confident in saying that Jess’s mother is a witch. A brainwashed one, probably, poor woman. I wonder if Jess is a witch too. Can witches usually see ghosts? That’d explain how Beth knows.

    *raises eyebrow* And I have yet more questions regarding Will. I still have exactly zero idea how he and Beth even worked. She seems to have grown attached, somehow, which… I may not understand ever, heh. Also… hmmm. So I guess Beth does suspect that April is a vampire. Her and her friends. I mean, it would make sense. But… if she does… ha. Either she doesn’t know all that much about vampires or she thinks all three of the fledglings worked together, to be able to drain him, yeah? Well, if she doesn’t suspect she’s got old vampires involved, that oughta help. And if she does… *giggles* well, then I guess Lilith was made prime suspect wasn’t she?

    Also, a hurricane? I mean, Wy mentioned something similar once, didn’t he? I guess it makes sense, for Beth to be that strong. I know she’s won the High Priestess election mainly on politics, but… is she flat out the strongest too?

    Now, Caleb is being his typical toddler self. And Mel is asking too much of him. I severely doubt he can even do “kind” at all, even on its own. That plus he can’t keep in mind too many things at once, apparently.

    Aaand, April and Wyatt brewing together are really cute. I really like how Wyatt praises her so subtly, she doesn’t even start to disbelieve him and actually does feel like she’s being good at something for once. He’s pretty good with people, isn’t he, when he can be bothered.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed the lizard story is sweet. Seems like a nice little life she left behind, doesn’t it.

      “Can witches usually see ghosts?” If they can, none so far have admitted it. To be honest, Beth and Will didn’t really work – they absolutely hated one another. Maybe what Beth is finding hard about the situation is not what Jessica is interpreting. As for how much she knows about vampires and if anyone knows about the old vampires, that’ll soon start becoming apparent, hee hee.

      Wyatt did once start a little monsoon, yeah (and in my head he’s just kicked a chair and is whining “it was one time!”) It stands to reason that Beth would be quite powerful, yes, but the strongest? Hm. I guess it depends how you’re defining ‘strong’. 😉

      No, Caleb can’t do anything, he’s an absolute shambles. A lost cause. Had one too many brain-fiddlings, possibly. Maybe they’ll just donate his head and have done with him. 🤔🤫

      Wyatt gets on with (almost) everyone which is really surprising as half of his autonomous actions are mischief-related. And yesyesyes, thought it was high time that April got a break, a chance to realise that she’s not useless. Can’t all be misery, can it. 😁


  3. Jessica has a job fitting of her talent (if talking to dead people can be considered a talent).
    The jokes about the dead sexual predator that was hanged. I feel so morbid laughing. Too soon? Hah!
    Caleb is like a lovable puppy dog. One that pees on the carpet a lot, no matter how much you train him otherwise. Oh gosh, Caleb, don’t tell a girl that her mom was hotter than her…unless you plan to write a song about it… “Stacy’s mom has got it goin on…” Good thing he was practicing. I wonder what else he plans to practice on Melinda. She didn’t seem to mind the kiss…after some thought. Hehe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She does indeed. And there’s a few homicides around here she can probably look to solving. Once she gets over the shock of actually being able to do it, of course.

      Ah, yes I have a few characters who cut quite close with their humour. You picked an interesting place to start reading (backwards?) – I swear it’s not always just mostly this grim.

      I think you are the only person to have ever described Caleb as ‘loveable’, but puppy always peeing on the carpet is for sure a perfect analogy. 😆

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Why are you making me love Wyatt? Is this an attack? The way he was boosting April up with her potion-making just did something to my heart.

    I’m glad we’re back with my girl, Jessica, who must be protected at all costs. This dance between her and Beth is so entertaining. You know why they’re both keeping secrets, even though it would be better to just spill it. Oooh, I just picked up on Jessica’s mom. Is she a witch??!?!?! Do I get a prize?!?!?!

    I was not sure where this kiss with Caleb and Mel was going. I want to say I’m relieved that it was just “role play” but I’m not relieved. Mel seems like she felt something and…I…oh god…do I ship it? I think only because Mel would not Caleb’s shit and he seems really respond well to that.

    GAH! You’ve made me a monster! Or I guess, I was already a monster and now this story is just revealing it.

    Maybe I should go back to murder arcade dates. That seems like safer ground…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You love Wyatt? Aw. if it helps balance the scale, he alternates between complimenting and consoling April and farting on her.

      Hehe! Yeah, Beth and Jess are sort of on the same side here. That age-old question… is she a witch? Or just a bit strange?

      Oof, been a long time since anyone was shipping the so-called ‘wimpy vamps’. Caleb needs/responds well to someone who won’t take his shit… remember that. 😉

      There’s a little monster in us all. You’re in good company over here. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

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