Chapter 4.39 – Toilet Water

After what had been a very lovely night of stargazing, laughter, cuddling and kissing, Melinda had taken to painting her pots all day, leaving April to her own devices for a while. But April was never bored, especially not when she was surrounded by so many fun magical things! Just that morning alone she had browsed a super interesting book about different kinds of beetles, opened a jar that had contained tiny little eyeballs – yuck! – and learned what widdershins actually meant, and surprisingly, it had nothing to do with legs.

She was having such a great day.

And then Wyatt had arrived home and things had gone slightly bad. She wasn’t really sure why he’d been crying. She hoped it wasn’t something that she had done.

Maybe he was rethinking moving back to the apartment? After all, it had been where grandma had passed away, that was surely a valid reason for him to be sad. Or maybe the party wasn’t as fun as he’d made out. Maybe he’d had a falling out with someone as he hadn’t been to one of the coven meets for a while?

Or maybe April had done something to upset him. She couldn’t think what that might be, but she always managed to upset Mother without trying, so maybe she was just that kind of person who upset people without meaning to. Maybe it was because she had been pestering him about telling her about the party.

Maybe that was it. She’d upset him.

Stupid girl.

“You’re not stupid, April.”

“How did you know—?”

April felt Melinda sigh against her neck. “You have a ‘look’ when your Mother is belittling you.” She turned April to face her and took her hand. “She’s gone, April, and all those things she said – the things she called you – she was wrong, okay?”

“Mother was wrong.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“I’m not stupid.” April said quietly, but then her face creased up. “But I think I messed up, Mel.”

Melinda tilted her head as if looking for something on April’s face. April tried very hard not to read Melinda’s mind. She knew it was rude to snoop.

Eventually Melinda spoke again. “Why do you think you’ve messed up?” She looked around. “Did you break something?”

“No.” April scuffed her foot. “I think I upset Wyatt.” Melinda didn’t say anything, so April stammered on. “He came home and he smelled like alcohol and his eyes were all big and I was pestering him about the party when he probably just wanted to sleep, and he hugged me and he was crying and then he couldn’t leave fast enough.”

“Okay,” Melinda said calmly. “Take a breather. It sound like something upset him before he bumped into you, don’t worry, I’m sure you didn’t do anything.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I doubt it. Shall I go talk to him?”

April smiled. “No, I trust you. I’ll go talk to him in a bit. See if he is okay.”

“Okay.” Melinda smiled. “What were you doing in here anyway? Find anything interesting? Oh my gosh, is that skull real?”

“Yes, his name is Skully.” April said brightly as she danced around the basement. “Isn’t this place so exciting, Mel? I love mixing up potions with Wyatt! He promised to help me make an illusion potion today to see if it would work on us or not.”

“Hm, if he was drunk maybe that’s not the right plan for today?”

“Maybe not but…” she took Melinda’s hand. “Tomorrow is going is going to be sunny and I wanted us to visit the fun beach.”

“We can’t go there – someone is bound to recognise you.”

“Not if we have an illusion potion…”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“We can wear some of Grandma’s wigs.”

“Sage wore wigs?”

“…I really should stop snooping.”

Melinda caved. “I mean, going to the beach does sound fun but… maybe wait until Wyatt wakes up and see what kind of mood he’s in?”

April nodded. “Good idea.” She snaked her arms around Melinda’s tiny frame and pulled her close. “You’ve always got good ideas.”

“Well,” April murmured between kisses, “I’ll give Wyatt a few hours before I wake him. What shall we get up to in that time?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Caleb had deliberated long and hard for a whole hour about what Kitty had said about commanding respect from Faith, and he still didn’t know what he was going to do.

He’d played out a few scenarios in his head, but they all ended up with him being ridiculed by her, a valid outcome.

Or by them fornicating, which he wasn’t sure was a valid outcome any longer. The thought of that burned his insides more than Kitty’s cookies had.

Should he just start bossing her about? Would she even entertain that? Knowing Faith, no she wouldn’t.

Could he command respect the way Kitty did of Seth, through fear? Was Caleb even fearsome enough to do that? He gathered from Faith’s teasing that he looked rather more monstrous than he had done before being blasted butt-naked through a magical barrier, but frightful? Likely not. And it wasn’t about looks anyway; he was sure of it. Kitty was small and beautiful and yet Seth still eyed her warily, like a cat with a rival, never talking back or cracking smart remarks.

Were fear and respect one and the same? Could Caleb make Faith fear him?

Did he want her to?

It wasn’t until the light tapping at the door became an insistent thudding that Wyatt finally broke out of his toxin-induced stupor.

He’d been dreaming of Wartilda’s twin sister, Toadella, carrying a bump the size of a planet and a face like thunder, demanding that he marry her in that instant.

He’d dreamed that she had dragged him to the coven meeting point and lit a fire so ferocious that it had seared his skin even from across the clearing.

She had thrown in handful of ground rose quartz and begun dancing. She danced and danced around the fire until all that was left of her was a tiny baby lying on the floor.

He’d picked up the abandoned baby and it had begun mocking him telepathically.

Your nostrils don’t match.

Somewhere in the distance, there was the sound of someone walking, tapping, hammering. He called out to them to help, for anyone to help! He had no idea what to do with this demonic little thing.

He woke up in a cloud to see April looking at him with concern.

“Wyatt? Are you okay?”

Geesh, was he? He was on the floor, still in his formal gear and shoes, his shirt clinging to his body which was wringing wet. His mouth tasted like he’d been drinking stale booze from an ashtray and his head was thumping.

As April’s disappointed little face became clear through the fog, Wyatt felt a huge pang of guilt. This wasn’t the first time she’d checked in on him after a bender. He swore, again, that it would be the last.

Shit, what had he even done last night? He had no idea.

He hauled himself up to sit on the bed, April joining him tentatively.

“Hey, Apes!” he managed, trying to sound casual and jovial. “What can I do for you at such an early hour?”

“It’s 3pm,” April said quietly, and fussed with a button on her jeans. “You said you’d help me with a potion today. The illusion one? For me and Mel to try?”

Wyatt wracked his pulverised brain and a little memory hopped in of a conversation they’d had on Broof’s porch about creating said potion, and a later one that he couldn’t remember details of where he’d probably promised to help April make something.

Uh, god, why did everything hurt so much?

April’s sweet little voice was like sandpaper on his ears. “It’s okay, if you’re not feeling very well, we can do it another time. It’s okay. Oh!”

Wyatt jumped at April’s last word as she’d practically shouted it.

“Are those new tattoos?” she asked.

Shit, Wyatt really hoped they weren’t. The last time he’d got a tattoo when he was blasted it had taken four removal spells and a harsh scrubbing to get rid of it. You could still see the outline of the balls a bit if you squinted. He managed to stay upright and with it enough to follow her gaze to his hands, which were covered in scrawl. He breathed a huge sigh of relief. Looks like Moon’s spell hadn’t failed after all – the murdered witch burial site locations were back.

“No, not tattoos,” he said. “These are the locations of witches graves that Lilith wanted.” He leaned a bit closer. “Heck knows if we’ll find anything though. I’m pretty sure this site is now part of the M42, and that one—”

April covered her nose and leaned away. “Ew, Wyatt! Your breath smells horrible! Have you been drinking toilet water or something?”

Possibly, maybe. It depended on who he was out with. If he had gone out with Roxie or Saul, he’d have just been getting loaded and likely ended up naked with one or both of them. But if he’d bumped into Becky – well anything could have happened; she liked to dare him to do stupid stuff.

Wyatt ran his hand down his face, the shame starting to choke him. He was 76 years old – he had a teenaged daughter and maybe another kid on the way – he really needed to grow up.

But, ugh, it was so hard to face his shitty reality when he could simply escape.

He shook his head to clear it, feeling his brain slopping around. April was folding her hands, chin down, her voice small. “Did I upset you?”

“I mean, telling me I stink like shi— poo hasn’t made me feel great.”

“No, I mean, earlier when you came home?” she scuffed her shoe into the rug. “I didn’t mean to, if I did.”

Damn. He had no recollection of this encounter either. “No,” he guessed. “You didn’t. I just…” he groaned and swept his hand through his unkempt hair. “I had some news that just… I didn’t know how to take.”

“Oh?” April looked at him expectantly. “Are you being kicked out of the coven?”

“No— why did you immediately go there?”

She squirmed. “Just because you haven’t been involved for months, or done any magic, and you’re always… never mind.”

That was what she thought of him. An underachieving, ever-wasted coven dropout. His insides knotted into a ball. He was about to tell her about Wartilda and the baby but he could just see it now; the disappointment on her face that her dad was a screw up.

He hoped he’d never have to tell her. Wartilda had been in two minds about what she wanted to do about the pregnancy, with her being young and unmarried and her dad being so traditional and overprotective and all. Wyatt didn’t say anything to sway her either way, but god did he have a preference.

One offspring being ashamed of him was enough.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” April said in a little voice, and promptly looked away, relieving Wyatt of some of his headache. It took him a second to put two and two together.

“We’ve talked about snooping,” he muttered, hoping that was all she’d read in his mind.

“I know, I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But you looked so sad and you aren’t talking to me about it. I’m sorry for snooping. I promise not to do it anymore.” She fiddled with her jeans button again, humming as if wondering whether to ask something.

He realised with dread that she had been reading him the whole time. “Just ask,” he whispered.

“Who’s Wartilda?” she asked slowly.

“A fellow witch.”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“No.”

“But you got her pregnant?”

His hands were shaking. “Yeah, I did.”

“Oh,” April said so softly that he might’ve imagined it. “So I might have a little brother or sister soon?”

Wyatt looked up from studying his hands to see April’s bright face, her eyes sparkling. “Maybe. It’s not up to me.”

“Okay,” she nodded firmly. “I won’t get too excited then.”

“You’re excited about having a half-sibling?”

“Oh, yes! I always wanted a little sibling to play with. But it’s Wartilda’s decision, I understand, I paid attention to grandma’s chart – maybe you should have too and then you wouldn’t keep getting ladies pregnant,” she said sternly.

“I don’t keep getting them pregnant, there were just two.” At least, he hoped it was just the two…

“I’m teasing you!” April grinned. “So, shall I prepare the cauldron, or are you feeling too poorly to help me?”

Wyatt had to admit that offloading to April had helped somewhat with making him feel alive, but he still needed to fix himself a quick pick-me-up – and to brush his teeth. “Sure, we can try making the illusion potion. Gimme half an hour to pull myself together.”

“Okay.”

He pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her head. She snuggled in to his embrace, even though he could see her little nose wrinkle as she got closer to his armpit.