Chapter 3.38 – The Butler Code

Disclaimer: Drugs mention, tiny bit of blood.

Broof had never before been into the forests of Forgotten Hollow, but he had, of course, heard all about them. As he and Lilith made their way along overgrown paths and through ever-thickening trees, Broof’s shoes became muddied and his field of vision became smaller. As the darkness began to swamp them, robbing him of his sight, he clung to Lilith’s arm as she navigated through. He could feel his own pulse racing, amplified against the cool stillness of her arm, and he began to wonder what on earth he was doing there.

What had been a kind decision, to escort Lilith to her house and help her to carry her things, now seemed to be a stupid one. How was he going to find his way back, laden with her belongings, when he couldn’t see two feet in front of himself? As for what lurked in the woods… Broof was very much relieved that Caleb was back at the flower shop, sated and mostly harmless. He only hoped that Caleb was the only murderous creature in these parts.

On the car ride over, Broof had fed back to Lilith the information he had learned from Moon. She had listened thoughtfully, but true to her form she hadn’t said much. It seemed that the high from Wyatt’s donation had left her system. Either that, or she was dwelling on the confrontation with Sage, that he pretended he hadn’t overheard.

He wasn’t sure who exactly the man was that they were discussing. According to Ma, Sage’s father had been a crook who had faced the guillotine before Sage was even born. Sage knew that, surely. He really did have to wonder if senility was taking hold on the aged witch. But, regardless, the knowledge that Sage had been using Lilith to further her status in the coven made his blood boil.

The fact she’d singed his wallpaper and hadn’t remedied it put her firmly lower on his list of preferred acquaintances.

Lilith reached back and took a firm grip of his hand to navigate him through a particularly thorny patch. His heart skipped a beat as he squeezed back against her cold skin. She’d survived centuries trapped with this curse, purging the world of her own kind and trying to keep her brother from destroying everything in his path, living out her days in hiding and isolation on the promise of a cure, of salvation, only to be thwarted at every turn by the witches. She was amazing.

If he hadn’t been motivated to find a cure before, he certainly was now.

He realised that, absentmindedly, he’d been caressing Lilith’s knuckles with his thumb. She yanked her hand away with a hiss, and grabbed him at his wrist instead.

“It’s a long way,” he commented senselessly, to ease the embarrassment he felt.

Lilith only grunted.

“How does the mailperson find you?” he asked.

“They don’t,” Lilith replied, yanking him through some draped vines that Broof couldn’t identify. “We’re here.”

Broof looked skywards and noticed that the canopy of trees had thinned and, as his eyes adjusted to the hazy black, he could make out a house that was nothing like he’d expected. Although he wasn’t sure what he expected – a castle? A forest-y cottage? Something more den-like, for certain. This house looked almost normal, barring some gothic architecture. And the crypt in the front yard.

“You have a crypt,” he stated moronically, peering closer to read the engraving on the stone slab. “Vatore’. Is that where you’re buried?”

He could just about make out Lilith rolling her eyes. “I really need to clean that thing out.”

“Clean what out?”

Lilith snorted sarcastically. “What do you think I keep in a crypt?”

“Oh, heck,” Broof gasped. “The remains of… of prey?”

“So you do have a brain.”

“Hold on, can’t we—?”

“Take one of their heads?” Lilith guessed. “No, they’ve all been dead thirty-plus years. Well, except for one.” Lilith looked thoughtful for a while.

Broof wanted to ask about this one prey, uh, person, but he also didn’t want to know the detail. He’d seen a lot of horrible things in his time, cleaned up – and covered up – a lot of disturbing and disgusting details, but never before, to his knowledge, had he been standing on site with countless murdered people beneath his feet. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up. The trees around him danced in his peripheral vision; their leaves whispering messages from beyond. The knots in their bark were playing tricks on his mind, conjuring up faces. He could have sworn he saw someone, or something, peering through the void…

“Broof!” Lilith snapped, jolting him from his dream. He glanced over to her where she stood on the porch, beckoning him in impatiently. He glanced back to where the creature had been but it was, predictably, empty.

April was having a super good time.

Grandma Sage had had to leave for the night to pretend to be looking for vampires, while the real vampires were curled up on her sofa watching really bad movies. Sage had made Wyatt drink a potion that originally smelled like apples but, once inside his tummy, it had made him smell really gross instead. April couldn’t describe how bad the smell was; it was like sweaty socks and poop and dead things all rolled together. He smelled so bad that even though he was sitting on the other side of the room, it still made April feel a bit queasy and had driven Caleb into another room entirely.

Melinda seemed mostly unaffected by Wyatt’s smell. She also seemed happier than April had seen her for a while, doing that thing she always used to do where she tickled the soft part of April’s arm. April liked that.

The movie they had been watching, about a gigantic, hungry chicken with flames for eyes, had ended and the credits had just finished rolling. Wyatt had it set up so that the next movie would play automatically and, after a brief pause, the screen lit up with the next title.

“Yay! It’s starting! Ooh… Vampire Whores from Outer Space,” April read, then immediately realised what she’d said. “Oh my goodness! Is this…?” she dropped her voice to a tiny whisper. “Pornography?”

Wyatt laughed from his corner. “Nah. Have you never seen this one? Zero budget, terrible acting, the crew are in shot half the time. Literally, it sucks.”

“Sounds great!” April clapped her hands.

“It really isn’t,” Wyatt said. “It’s marginally better when you’re loaded, though.” He paused and jumped up. “I’ll be back in a mo.”

“I guess he really needed the bathroom,” April shrugged and settled back against Melinda, who huffed.

“I think he’s gone to get high, April.”

April frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. He’s always high.”

“Is he?” April thought for a moment about how happy and goofy Wyatt always seemed to be. She pictured the lazy look he often wore and replayed how soft his syllables were. Maybe Melinda was right; she often was. She sighed. “Oh. Oh dear.”

“Yeah. Didn’t you know?”


“Oh. Are you OK?”

April nodded. “I suppose it’s not so much worse than Mother always being inebriated, is it? In fact, it’s better because Wyatt is happy when he’s high but Mother just got more cross.”

“Hm,” Melinda mused, drawing a small circle on April’s wrist.

“Have you ever taken any drugs, Mel?”

Melinda looked at her friend and laughed. “Me? Come on.”

“Have you ever wanted to?”

“Not really. Why, have you?”

It was April’s turn to shrug. “I haven’t really thought about it before. I do like the fuzzy, giggly feeling I get when I drink alcohol. Do you think drugs are the same?”

Melinda squirmed. “Um, I don’t know, April.”

“Oh! Do you think if we asked Wyatt nicely that he’d let us try some?”

“Sorry, I thought it’d just be a leak, but all these fibrous potions Mum is giving me… TMI,” Wyatt said, entering the room again. He threw himself back into his chair. “What do you want Wyatt to let you try?”

“Nothing,” Melinda said at the same time April blurted out, “Drugs!”

Wyatt made a face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh,” April said turning to Melinda, “But you said he’s always high!”


“Heh, I’m screwing with you,” Wyatt laughed. He glanced around conspiratorially. “But like, don’t say that in front of everyone, yeah? So, what d’you wanna try?”

April tapped her chin thoughtfully before declaring, “Heroin.”

Beside her, Melinda choked around a laugh and before her Wyatt grinned wryly.

“Yeah, that ain’t happening.”

“Oh,” April shrugged, wondering what she’d said that was so wrong and feeling very silly. “How about, um, oh I don’t know. I don’t know any others.”

“Really?” Wyatt grinned. “Thought you’d have been surrounded by ‘em at all those fancy-schmancy celeb parties.”

“Oh!” April gasped, a memory or three coming back. “Of course! What about that white powdery one that sticks to your nose? Is that one?”

Wyatt whistled. “Proper lil’ junkie, ain’t you? I ain’t getting you that either.”

“Well, I don’t know!” April huffed. “Stop laughing, Mel. I just wanted to try something new.”

“Apes, you are freaking adorable. Tell you what. If you’re that curious, I can whip up a lil’ batch of tea for tomorrow night, just for you two.”

“Um, I—“

“Tea?” April asked, frowning. “What flavour?”

“That’s her first question?” Wyatt chuckled to himself. “Adorable. What’s your favourite flavour?”

“Strawberry!” April blurted. “Although, I suppose it’d just taste like ash now.”

“Strawberry ash it is.”

“What does the tea do?” Melinda asked, although she didn’t sound very excited.

“Turns the world into a kaleidoscope. Caleb tried it, first day he worked here; he was tripping his balls off, seeing elks and all the bright! but for you two I’d tone it down, uh, a lot.”

“OK!” April said, snuggling back against her friend. “A kaleidoscope! And I’ve never seen an elk! That sounds like so much fun, doesn’t it, Mel?”

“Um… I’m not sure if I want to…”

“Cool. No pressure, you can just chill,” Wyatt said casually. “You’ll have more fun watching Apes off her face than watching this crap, anyway.”

“What? I have to take my face off?”


The first thing that Broof had noticed about the house interior was the scent of decay.

The second thing he noticed was that the place was immaculate. He knew from having Lilith as a houseguest that she wasn’t a messy person – when she was sober – but he didn’t have her down as a fellow neat freak.

Lilith hadn’t bothered to give him a tour, instead taking him straight up to her room and ignoring him almost entirely while she packed her belongings into her suitcases. Broof, who had spent a good portion of his life being ignored by those he served, didn’t feel bothered by this; he was occupying himself by browsing the books on her shelves. Many of them were medical journals, some even looked handwritten, he wondered how old they were. Surprisingly, there were a few botany books in the mix.

Strange and Forbidden Plant Genetics,” he read aloud from the spine of a book. “Huh. I didn’t have you down as a botanist.”

“I’m not,” Lilith said, gesturing to a potting station that was covered in plants in various stages of dying. “There was only one plant I was interested in.”

“Oh?” Broof asked.

Lilith set down a blouse she was holding and crossed the room. She plucked an ancient book from a shelf, propping it on a stand and allowing it to fall open to a page that had been viewed so much it had been broken into the spine.

Dr. Blorgfart has synthesised ‘a plasma fruit’ – a pome fruit, with a mealy and succulent flesh and no obvious core. The fruit, which has a mild, metallic flavour and high iron content, induces nausea when consumed and has no known medicinal or culinary applications. The fruit is the latest unusual endeavour devised by Dr. Blorgfart’s team, who claim it can be used as an alternative food source for the likes of mosquitoes, fleas, bed bugs and other such bloodthirsty creatures. Although, why one would wish to feed hematophages, rather than eradicate them, remains a mystery.

“A plasma fruit? I’ve never heard of it, but it sounds revolting. Is that what you were trying to grow here? Who was this scientist, Dr. Blorgfart?”

“I don’t know,” Lilith shrugged. “The only other mention I can find of him afterwards is a small newspaper clipping that simply said the Dr. had closed his laboratory and where to direct queries. It appears he vanished. Although I have an inkling that it had something to do with rogue vampires or…” she hesitated.

“Or..?” Broof coaxed.

“Never mind.”

Broof swallowed hard. “Or something to do with the witches, yes?”

Lilith chewed her lip and turned away.

“Lilith, I overheard you talking to Sage—”

“Spying on me. Typical. So you don’t trust me, either.”

“You were in my house. And no, that’s not what I meant, I meant that—”

“You goddamn witches are all the same; so bloody righteous.” Lilith stared at her half-packed suitcase. “Maybe staying with you isn’t such a good idea. In fact, it definitely isn’t. Get out.”

“No. Bloody hell, Lilith let me speak!”

Lilith blinked at him in surprise, muted, and he couldn’t say he blamed her.

That was not in the butler code.

“I get it,” he said, trying to soften his edge. “I get why you despise witches. I would too in fact… I do too.”

Lilith snorted. “Right, of course you do. I’ve heard this bullshit before ‘I’m on your side, Lilith!’”

“I am.”

“You lot—”

“Please, don’t ‘you lot’ me, I’m not like the others.”

“Heard that before too. You’re like a book of clichés, Broompig. You’re all a bunch of self-serving bastards, on the side of preserving pure magic, ensuring that no creature can ever usurp you as the pinnacle of Sim.”

“I’m not on the side of ‘pure magic’,” Broof whispered his throat dry as he prepared to unburden himself of his secret. “Not anymore.”

Lilith folded her arms. “Is this something to do with why you can’t cast any spells? Yeah, I’ve noticed. What did you do to piss off ‘Mother Earth’? Cast your circle widdershins instead of sunwise?” she asked sarcastically. “Burn the wrong colour candle? Ooh, cardinal sin, that one.”

“No,” he whispered, feeling his heart pause. “I tried to resurrect my daughter.”

“…What?” Lilith managed eventually after what felt like an hour of staring. “But you can’t do that with pure magic… to do that you’d need to use… and that goes against… and she would have been… oh, holy fucking shit.”

“Yeah,” Broof exhaled the breath he was holding and wilted like a flower. “But to know that my child was gone and that there might be a way I could bring her back? Who wouldn’t?”

“It didn’t even work, obviously, probably because I had no idea what I was doing; it’s not like you learn this stuff during your mentoring. The complete lack of understanding from the coven when Cabbage died; the total unwillingness to try… it changed my whole outlook. What am I worshipping? What’s the damn point?” he growled. “Tell me; how can wanting to give life back to a child possibly be construed as wrong, or punishable, or as… as…”

“Evil?” Lilith asked.

“I was going to say ‘fair’,” Broof sighed. Lilith was so close he could smell her unusual perfume. Vanilla and something he couldn’t identify. “But I suppose that too.”

Lilith nodded. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before she patted his knee and climbed back to her feet. “Come on. Now’s not the time for moping. In the room next door is some of April’s stuff that she dumped here before they all ran off and left me for dead. I was going to sell it, but seeing what Sage is dressing her in… ugh, poor girl. Go grab what you think she’d want. I’ll finish up here and meet you at the bottom of the stairs.”

Broof scrambled up as panic gripped him. “Look, you don’t have to stay with me, but, well, no one knows about… about what I did, or about the lack of magic. Well, Wyatt knows about that but not why… and I—”

“Your secret is safe with me. Hey, who knows, one day I might give you one of mine in exchange,” she teased. “I’m going to stay with you, if that’s still all right, which I presume it is. If you smiled any wider you’d split your philtrum.”

“My what?” he asked, glancing down.

“Oh my word.” She walked back over to her bed. “And don’t flatter yourself; I’ve had enough of this house, this forest, is all. Besides,” She snapped her case open. “Us ‘tainted beings’ have to work together, don’t we?”

A collective of those who misuse magic, practice dark magic…

…Necromancers and beasts.

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10 thoughts on “Chapter 3.38 – The Butler Code

  1. I don’t know why the Broof and Lilith pairing bothers me, but it does. Maybe because he’s so focused on the “saving her” aspect of it. Broof likes being a knight in shining armour, doesn’t he? Lilith also seems much grumpier than last chapter, though I can’t tell if that’s because of the unwanted affection or because her Wyatt high is slowly wearing off. It’s such a wild concept; your behaviour being affected that strongly by what you drink.

    Melinda being happier? Can’t be because she’s curled up with April and Caleb is nowhere in sight, nah. On the one hand it’s cute, and on the other hand I keep remembering past thoughts of April’s where she revealed that she’d kissed Melinda to get her to stop talking before. I don’t know. April is so innocent and clueless but at the same time I’m getting slightly manipulative vibes from her. Maybe I’m seeing ghosts where there are none. I also can’t help but wonder what Caleb would feel seeing them like that 🤔 He’s prone to jealousy and possessiveness so it’s probably a good thing that he’s in the other room.
    Their drug chat omg 😂 it’s one way to spend the time for sure, lol. Yeah, let’s not hit April with the same dose that Caleb ended up taking 🤣

    Blorgfart 😆

    I actually hope it was the witches that made Blorgy disappear, and not the rogue vampires. Because I can’t imagine Sage actually snuffing out a life. If Blorgfart/his family is still alive (or even if he was just made to relocate and/or lose his memory), then there might still be traces of his research out there.
    Gah, Lilith is so quick to jump to conclusions there. Good on Broof to set her straight. I wonder what [and she would have been…] is alluding to there. It sounds like whatever he tried might have had a bad effect on more than just him. He has a point, though, from a simple perspective. There is nothing wrong about wanting your child to live again. It’s perfectly natural… but raising the dead simply isn’t.
    I’ve always thought that it’s really important that we can’t, too. Resurrecting people, I mean. Death should have weight. If death can be reversed, then life loses all meaning.

    A collective of those who misuse magic, practice dark magic, necromancers and beasts. If Lilith’s vampire powers are dark magic, and Broof is the necromancer, then all we need to complete the set is the beast. 😗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think it’d be unusual if April didn’t have a manipulative streak, given who her mother was, so the vibes you’re getting might just be right.

      Blorgy. 😆 Interesting catch, there. For sure, raising someone from the dead has a few consequences and more than a few good arguments against.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Meh, heh. Broof seriously has it bad. Pffft… I mean, none of what he said is exactly wrong and I guess Lils is kind of cool for not having given up yet, but he kind of ignores… a lot of things. Some of which he admittedly doesn’t know about. But still. She’s being mean to him too and he’s like a puppy. Try not to be a /kicked/ puppy, Broof. Vamps kick hard.

    Eeeep! Kitty! Red alert, trouble nearby.

    About the girls… I wonder how much April actually likes Melinda. I mean, she did sound kind of cold before, but she is also still half convinced that “kissing another girl doesn’t count” so there’s that… anyway, a high April is… actually kind of a scary thought. She is bubbly and chatty as is, she might get… she might end up being more to handle than Jessica, is what I’m trying to say.

    And then… oh. Oh! So Lilith doesn’t really hate Broof, she just couldn’t trust him, right? Because he’s a witch and his neat-freakishness probably made it look like he would be extra strict about the whole “pure magic” business, too. Ah-ha! Now this is interesting… hmmm. It looks like they are up to no good. Hm. It kind of weirds me out to think these two might be planning a visit to the Village… Broof? Going to a swamp? Heheheh! But that’s neither here nor now. They gotta settle the head thing first. And possibly get the rest of the vamps from beneath Sage’s thumb which won’t be easy.

    Also… I have to think about Kitty again. Is she really trouble? Could she be helpful? Would she feel a kinship with Lilith as a fellow woman in the vampire world? Or would it be more rivalry? Hatred? How much does she even know? At this point, Kitty’s feelings about Lilith could be anything. And Broof? Well, now. There at least, I’m fairly sure trouble is nearby. I mean, to Broof, Kitty is extremely dangerous whether she means to be or not. If those two happen to meet, I’m hazarding a guess it will be either bad or worse. XD …and I’m not exactly sure which would be worse. An angry Kitty… or a non-angry one. ;D

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lils is kind of cool” OMG! Who are you and what have you done with Gina?! Oh no, wait, there’s a ‘but’. Phew!

      Yeah the tea scene is gonna be wordy for the very reasons you identify. Bloody, chatty characters 😆.

      So Lilith doesn’t really hate Broof, she just couldn’t trust him, right?” 😉. And no, taking the vamps from Sage won’t be easy…


  3. Lilith’s boots are super sexeh
    Eeeek! Broof! RUN … that face in the void *shudder*
    LOL Dr. BlorgFART omg lol
    Aw, Broof. I get it. It makes sense. If you come into power, why not use it to bring back a life that was stolen, especially the life of your child. Def is an examination of morals. Which is more moral to give (back) life or do nothing?
    Dang. Too bad he didn’t succeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m BACK!!! YAYYY!!! Finally catching up. Going to try and read and not comment like a crazy person but my head is already spinning 🙂

    I’m back to Broof/Lilith ship, btw.


      1. SAME. On the one hand, I’m delighted to have so many chapters. On the other, I’m like: WHAT HAVE MY BABIES BEEN DOING WITHOUT ME ALL THIS TIME? lololol


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