Chapter 4.13 – Predicament

Melinda, it turned out, did not have a better idea. With none of the trio having the ruthlessness to kill him or the skill to wipe his memory, fleeing was the only viable option they could come up with.

However, on Melinda’s insistence, they’d left Omar outside the local medical centre, as dressed as they could manage. Okay, so it was better than almost nude and face down in a pizza box, which, Wyatt was ashamed to say, would’ve been his preference.

Maybe still was…

Because despite it being Melinda’s idea to take the big, bald bloke to the medical centre, Wyatt was the one actually dragging him there, as April couldn’t stay outside for long and Melinda kept trying to bite him. He’d passed a patrolling police car and a group of curious schoolgirls on his route and was totally convinced he was done for but somehow had made it to the clinic.

But then, just as Wyatt was about to dump Omar, someone walked out of the clinic, forcing him to do another lap of the block with the huge man on his shoulders. By the time he’d dropped Omar into his found place, Wyatt’s blood-crusted shirt was wringing with sweat and he was ninety-five percent sure that he’d crapped his pants.

But there was no time to check and definitely no time to shower. He’d cast a small spell that would keep Omar zonked out for a short time but too many people had seem him. They needed to leave, like, yesterday. They needed a safe place, and he knew just the one.

“Mel, can I borrow your phone?”

Wyatt loved calling people he knew from random numbers and hearing how differently they spoke to him, and Broof didn’t disappoint. He always answered in his clipped, professional tone. Well, apart from that one time he’d called from Claudia’s but that was a whole mess of a situation he couldn’t dwell on right now-

“Good morning, Melinda. How are you?”

Wyatt paused. Something was different about the way Broof had answered the call to who he thought was Melinda. His voice was soft and gentle.

“Hello? Melinda?”

Wyatt briefly considered impersonating Melinda, or someone else, but thought it wasn’t really the time to be acting the prat. “Hoggy, it’s me.”

Broof instantly dropped his voice into the gutter. “Wy? Wow, it’s been a while. Why are you calling from Melinda’s phone?”

“Pawned mine.”

“Ah,” Broof replied without a hint of surprise. “But why Melinda’s?”

“Reasons.”

“So, Wy. How have you been?”

Wyatt rubbed at the dried streak of blood on his shirt. “Better. So, uh, how’s the swamp?”

Silence, filled only with some laboured panting and the sound of twigs breaking underfoot before Broof’s voice came back in a stressed whisper. “Miles away. This is the most exercise I’ve had in ages. I’m so unfit, I’ve got the shits, I haven’t slept since we left, and before you say it, no, she isn’t keeping me up. She doesn’t even stay in the tent. She slept outside on the ground – if she slept at all. I know I didn’t – could feel every rock against every bone in my body.”

“Every bone?”

“Grow up, Wy.”

“Bet you’re wishing for that big, plush bed of yours, hey?” Wyatt laughed, seeing his in. 

“What I wouldn’t give.” Broof groaned. “It’s for a good cause though, right? At least I hope it is. Oh my feet… This place had better have an elixir store with a 50% off sale on vamp-be-gone…”

“Yeah, that’d be a great ending to the story.” Wyatt agreed playing with a hole in a brick. “Say, Hoggy, my man, while we’re on the subject of your bed—”

Wyatt could hear Broof halt in his tracks, his breathless voice took on a stern edge. “Oh Goddess – what have you done on it? Wyatt – I’ve been gone one night—”

“Chill, chill… nothing’s wrong with your bed. But… I need to stay at your place for a while. With Apes. That cool?”

It definitely wasn’t cool. Broof might’ve been the fire man, but a distinct chill went down Wyatt’s spine.

“Why do you—”

There was rustle on the other end and Wyatt could hear Lilith’s distant voice; Broof shouting back that he was walking as fast as he could.

“You don’t sound like you’re walking,” Wyatt pointed out.

“Don’t you start,” Broof mumbled into the receiver. “Why do you need to stay at my place? What happened to your apartment?”

“Long story involving fame, sex, drugs and wayward lights.”

“Why does this not surprise me…”

Wyatt listened to the crunchy twigs for a while, imagining Broof trying to come up with an excuse and an alternative.

“Have you checked the rental listings in the paper?”

“No, this isn’t 1998. Plus, y’know, it needs to be less, um, visible.”

“You need a hideout.”

“Yeah. Someone recognised April.”

Broof exhaled heavily. “I see.”

“I figured, y’know, with your place having that—”

“Moon’s house!” Broof exclaimed with relief. “She has offered a few times already. You can stay there!”

“She has one bedroom, dude, and she’s already sharing it with Mel. Dude, Hoggy, come on. I would do this for you. I promise that I won’t drink coffee anywhere near your counter—“

Broof whined in a way that sounded painful but then stopped walking again. “How about Lilith’s house?”

“Wha? No!”

“Hear me out! When I visited it – I know this is weird because she’s a vampire and all – but I’m pretty sure I could sense magick around that place. And she has lots of space, multiple bedrooms—”

“Great idea. Hey, maybe Apes can have Caleb’s bedroom and be properly surrounded by all those totally-not-awful memories of him.”

Broof sucked in a breath through his teeth. “I didn’t think of that.”

More crunchy silence.

Eventually, Broof sighed in that resigned way that told Wyatt he’d won. “Fine. You can stay at mine. But keep it clean, and I don’t just mean clean, Wy, I mean clean. Don’t bring anyone else back, don’t get so smashed that you break anything, don’t urinate in the sink…”

Broof reeled off his list of house rules, until Wyatt could hear Lilith’s voice again, this time with more anger in it.

“Geez, dude, how slowly are you walking?”

“Too slowly, apparently.”

“You offered to carry everything, didn’t ya?” Wyatt laughed as Broof let out a laboured little sigh. “You know she has superhuman strength right? Let her carry it all.”

“No way. I’m a gentleman.” Broof groaned. “Besides, I did insist on bringing the deck chair… Ugh. I’d better go. I’ll check in with you later.”

“Later, Hoggy, and thanks.”

“No problem.”

Broof  hung up and glanced along the makeshift path that Lilith had trampled through the woodland. His brow was sweaty, his beard was sweaty, he smelled almost mammalian for once. He’d been so careful so apply deodorant to every inch of his body that morning, even more so than usual. But his mildly-not-clinical scent was the least of his worries now he’d agreed to let Wyatt of all people stay in his house.

Unsupervised.

He readjusted his inventory and tried to force his aching feet to carry on moving forwards. His back hurt almost as much as his ego when Wyatt, he pained to admit, was right. Lilith could’ve carried all the supplies but nooo, Broof just had to be chivalrous. Broof had to demonstrate that he wasn’t a liability. Broof had to prove his lov… commitment. Prove his commitment. To April. To the cause.

Oh who was he kidding? he thought, as Lilith’s yellow and black shapely form blurred into the horizon and the sun beat down on him somehow through the tree canopy. He’d stopped doing this for April a long, long time ago.

He could hear her yelling somewhere in the distance. Through the sweat in his ears. The sweat in his eyes. Dragging his feet on endlessly through the leaves, through the twigs, through the loop of a rope.

“Aargh!”

“What now?! “Came Lilith’s angry shout through the trees, although she seemed to be making no effort to return to him. “Another bloody spider?!”

Broof struggled against the rope around his ankle, which of course not only made it tighter, but also caused the contents of his pockets spill out on the ground around him. As he grasped blindly at falling items and desperately tried not to panic, through the bushes, a small face appeared, followed by a small body.

The little person ran up to where Broof was dangling.

“Dad! I got a big one! I got…” the child looked up as Broof swayed. “Who are you?”

“Uh… hello, I’m Broof… this is a fine trap you’ve made here, um…” Broof waited for the child to offer their name, but clearly they had no manners. They continued staring at Broof with amusement. “Um, can you please let me down? I’m feeling a bit light-headed…”

The child took a step forward as if to do just that, but then froze as something appeared to dawn on them. “Dad! Dad! Come quick! I’ve caught a witch!”

“Dad?” Broof repeated dumbly. “Witch?”

With a speed that suggested either superhuman abilities, or eavesdropping, a man appeared behind the child. Well, Broof described him as a man, but ‘man and a half’ would be a more accurate description for the seven foot tall mountain of muscle that had materialised beneath the tree.

“Sweet sacrilege,” he whispered. “You have caught a witch.”

Broof remained silent, trying hard to think of a way out of his predicament. He focused on the man before him, sensing something unusual about him, but not that he was magically inclined, exactly. The large man took a tentative step closer to Broof, becoming even more intimidating as he neared and blocked more of the sun.

“You are looking for the village,” he said, not a question and not specifying which village.

Broof took a chance that this stranger was a resident of the unspecified village, and nodded, which made his brain feel like it was banging against the insides of his skull. “We are. Can you let me down from here?”

“We?” the man repeated, turning his head towards the path that Lilith had disappeared down.

“Myself and my… uh, friend,” Broof said with some trepidation, sensing the tension rising. Or falling, depending on which way up you were looking at it. 

“Your ‘friend’ is not a witch,” the man stated, again not a question.

Broof tried to laugh, just in case this oddly accurate man was not actually from the village but was one of the GliTS, or something. “Witches. Sure. Funny.”

The man fixed Broof with a knowing stare that went through him. He looked eerily familiar, but at that moment, Broof couldn’t place him. “If you are not a witch, yet you know about the village, then you perhaps you are a witch hunter.” He leaned right in and whispered. “We don’t take kindly to witch hunters in these parts.”

Broof gulped and back-tracked. “No, no – I am a witch… but I won’t hurt you—”

“Not with the little magic you have within, no.” He nodded towards the woods. “Is that something to do with your vampire ‘friend’?”

“Vampire?” The child squeaked.

Shoot.

“No, she’s not—“

“Brodie, stay close,” the man whispered to his child who shuffled nearer. He turned back to Broof and gently tilted his jaw left and right, scanning his neck. “She has bitten you, witch. Many, many times.”

Broof bit his lip. There really was no denying it; the evidence was punched into this throat. He sighed. “Yes, she has. We have an agreement.”

“Oh? You give her your blood and she gives you what in return?”

Broof pouted, thinking hard before choosing his answer. “Company, I suppose.”

“I see. Pleasurable company?”

“Let me tell you something, you hairy-faced safari troll, if you put that revolting thing anywhere near me you’ll have nothing left to put a condom on, do you understand that?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“No, then.” The man gently poked Broof in the side of the head and watched his eyes spin. “She takes a lot from you. She has weakened you.” He looked down at the array of items on the floor that had dislodged from Broof’s inverted pockets; the discarded deck chair, unravelled toilet paper, tangled skipping rope and spilled packet of Bummol. “You carry a lot of… interesting things. Does she use you as a donkey?”

“…I offered to carry everything.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

A laboured sigh escaped the man and in one swift motion, he had Broof firmly by the leg as he cut the rope that held him.

“She is not your friend,” he said quietly, righting Broof who swayed like meadow grass in the wind and would have toppled had it not been for this stranger’s firm grip. “She is performing mind control on you.”

“No, she isn’t.”

“She is.”

“She isn’t. I’d know.”

“You wouldn’t,” he murmured. “Tell me, does she occupy your mind? Is she all you can think about, night and day?”

Broof hesitated, replaying the thoughts and fantasies that had taken root in his mind since the very first moment he’d laid eyes on Lilith. Surely she wouldn’t be controlling his thoughts.

Surely not.

Unless…

Unless she didn’t have a choice.

Lilith managed to pull herself from Broof’s memories, staggering back a few paces towards the sink and taking her tendrils with her. “I’m so sorry,” she muttered. “I’m so damn sorry. I didn’t mean to— I can’t stop that.”

“I can’t turn it off—“

Broof swallowed back a lump in his throat the size of his heart. He tried to form an argument to the contrary, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made and the more it hurt.

As Broof slid down the tree, he felt a strong hand pat him on the head. “What’s your name?”

“Broof,” Broof mumbled. “Broof Hogwash.”

“Hogwash?” The man repeated, then shook his head as if to clear it; his long hair shedding various bits of nature as it moved. “I’m Bruno Milt, and this is Brodie. Broof, I will take you to the village, you will be welcome there, you can rest, recuperate.” He scanned the area where Lilith had disappeared, his nose twitching. “However, I cannot risk your ‘friend’ following us. I’ll need to put you to sleep, temporarily.”

“But she’s harmless…”

Bruno pulled Brodie closer. “I won’t take that risk. Do you understand?”

Broof didn’t really understand anything right at that moment. The shock, the fatigue, the heat, the lack of blood and being dangled upside-down had completely exhausted him. He’d figure out a way out of this, a way to reunite with Lilith, he would. He just needed a little sleep first.

He nodded.

Bruno turned to his child. “Brodie, our friend here requires a gentle lull, please can you—”

“—Go get Leyla?” Brodie gasped in horror.” By myself? Dad, there’s a bloodthirsty vampire out there!”

The big man shook with laughter, the first time Broof had seen a break in the steely exterior and a peek at the warmth beneath. “Oho! So a ‘twenty foot long crocodile’ creeping into your room at night doesn’t scare you, but a vampire does? Or was the ‘trespassing crocodile story’ just you trying to frighten your little sister?”

“A trespassing gecko would be enough to scare Molly,” Brodie scoffed. “And I might not be afraid of crocodiles, but crocodiles can’t do mind control.”

“Can they not? Or is that what they want you to think.”

“Dad…” Brodie whined with an eyeroll.

“Brodie…” Bruno mimicked in the same tone with the same eye roll. “Of course I don’t want you out there alone while a vampire is roaming the woods. You don’t need Leyla for this. Just imagine that it’s just like we’re at home, you’re tucking Molly in—”

Brodie looked at Broof and sighed. “He’s a bit bigger than Molly is, Dad.”

“True, but he’s also almost unconscious from blood loss and exhaustion,” Bruno smiled, thumbing towards Broof who by now was seeing double. “I believe in you. Give it a try.”

Emboldened by their father’s confidence, Brodie looked up at Broof, hands aglow with a familiar light. “May I?”

Broof was still so hung up on Lilith’s possible deceit that he barely registered the conversation his companions were having. He barely noticed the child approaching him with excited trepidation and cupping his face in their warm little hands. He barely heard the words whispered; a hybrid of an incantation and a lullaby.

As he became enveloped in a comforting warmth his consciousness softly left him and he sank into the sturdy arms of a stranger. Broof’s last thought, as always, was that one eternally youthful, scowling undead face…

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