“Who were you again?”

April Moss – Known for her whole life as Sandy Moss’s daughter and raised in the lap of luxury, now a clueless new vampire living in squalor with her new dad. Recently managed to break her bind to Caleb and find her true self.

Faith Splodge – Resident bad girl and lover of the night, Faith constantly bit off more than she could chew even before she got her fangs. Dumped Seth for being an arsehole and can now often be found atop some poor drained bastard.

Seth Grimm – Master vampire who holds a candle for Faith and is sliding a slow descent to madness without her. Love him or hate him, like a bad penny he just keeps on turning up.

Lilith Vatore – Caleb’s sister and former shit cleaner-upper who believes he is dead. Lilith is a cold-hearted vampire with a thirst for cosmopolitans and a soft spot for a certain bearded butler.

Broof Hogwash – Long-suffering butler of the Moss household. Bearer of an unfortunate name and a woeful lack of magic. Tried to resurrect his daughter and lost his spark, but is finding his mojo again thanks to Lilith.

Wyatt Harper – April’s father, Broof’s best friend. Harbours an insane well of magical energy in his idle hands. Accidentally killed his mother and is now afraid of cauldrons.

Caleb Vatore – Vampire sire of April. Attempted to rectify his bad decision with an even worse one and they just keep on coming. Thought to be dead by most of the cast but currently living in the lap of luxury with Kitty and his blondes.

Kathryn Galloway – Known as ‘Kitty’. A shapeshifting vampire who can often be found stalking Seth in cat form. Former high priestess of the Windenburg Witches but now wants a vampire coven for some reason.

Jessica Spoon – Newest recruit to the local band of loons, police officer, pregnant and a motormouthed force of nature, Jessica is hot on the tail of our clueless vampires by… chatting to ghosts?

Sandy Moss – Needs no introduction.

Travis Davies-Moss – Sandy’s husband. A terrible lawyer and even worse father and husband, he is currently incarcerated and being charged with the murder of his wife. Still can’t wear his forbidden trousers.

Sage Harper – A powerful witch, Wyatt’s mother and esteemed vampire hunter of three centuries. Saved her son from overcharge, but sacrificed herself.

Warren Harper – Sage’s late husband and Wyatt’s father.

Charles ‘Chuck’ Bucket – Melinda’s adoptive dad and general all-round good guy, Chuck often gets taken advantage of.

Barbara ‘Babs’ Bucket – Adoptive mother of Melinda and wife of Chuck. A terrible gossip and an even worse cook. Banana sausage surprise anyone?

Rose Smalley – Melinda’s mother. A young girl who escaped from the Tower and went missing in 2001 after a run in with Caleb. Currently hanging around the Vatore House in a semi-transparent state.

Will Wangshaft – Everybody’s favourite character! Was found dangling in a tree by his intestines and everyone cheered. Melinda’s biological father who also bedded Faith but let’s not dwell on that.

Adina Splodge – Faith’s mother who blames herself for Faith’ disappearance with a man who definitely did not look like Bonkle SacFondle.

Joy Splodge – Faith’s little sister. Loves horror movies, hates cookies with peas in.

Marigold ‘Ma’ Hogwash – Broof’s grandma, former High priestess of the coven and weaver of magic that few have been able to replicate. Recently deceased.

Tarragon Harper – Son of Sage and Warren and Wyatt’s older brother. Died from overcharge during a friendly duel with his mother.

Angeline Spoon – Witch of old. Sage’s Mother and Seth’s old lover. Spent her final years trying to formulate a vampire cure and met an unfortunate end.

Eileen Spoon – Mother of Jessica. Frequent resident in the Tower as she claims she can talk to dead people.

Roberto Grimm – Seth’s father who taught his boy that violence is the answer and ended up regretting it.

Cabbage Hogwash – Broof’s daughter. Passed away as a child after Broof broke his promise to her.

Unknown Woman – Known only as ‘the whore’. Mother of Lilith and Caleb. Died at the hands of Silas.

Morag – GliTS member. Brave and foolhardy, determined to solve every mystery while wearing a maniacal smile.

Pixie – GliTS member. Talks to ghosts, apparently. Enjoys wearing flowery trousers.

Claudia Clusterfuck – Senior witch. Broof’s ex-wife. By all accounts self-centred and tactless. Mentor to Wartilda and Toadella.

Dave – Claudia’s new husband. Over-protective ginger man mountain with a huge chin.

Bathsheba “Beth” Wangshaft – High Priestess of the Windenburg Witches and wife of the late Will Wangshaft. Swears like a sailor and was responsible for ensuring Ralf was silenced.

Egbert Spoon – Former High Priest of the coven.

Snotrag Globrot – Father of Toadella and Wartilda. Very strict. Sometimes goes by the name James.

Wartilda Globrot – Twin sister of Toadella. Is in love with Wyatt and finally got close to him in Book 3 in what was totally just casual, safe sex with no ulterior motive whatsoever.

Toadella Globrot – Twin sister of Wartilda. Has a soft spot for Broof, but likes to play it cool. Much better at magic than her sister.

Moon – One of the coven’s most esteemed witches. Lives with her cats in a cottage that is far too small for all the vampires who keep hanging around it.

Lorna Broad-Castor – Long-suffering newsreader.

Reb Porter – Chief reporter for the news channel, always hot on the action in any location. Ruthless and persistent.

Ralf Widdlefinkle – Former chief of police for the WBPD. Lazy and possibly corrupt. Happened upon vampire evidence and was swiftly removed from the picture.

Chase Crooks – Nephew of Ralf and father to Jessica’s unborn baby. Was a good cop with a bad temper. Exsanguinated by Caleb in under 3 minutes.

Silas Vatore – Bound to Charlotte. Once a ‘mortal-loving milksop’. Raised Lilith and Caleb. Turned Caleb as a toddler to ensure the Vatore legacy continued. Killed by vampire hunters.

Charlotte Vatore – Bind of Silas. Once a firecracker tavern owner and swindler. Raised Lilith and Caleb. Turned Lilith to avoid her becoming Vlad’s bind. Killed by vampire hunters.

Vlad – Esteemed society vampire. Almost took Lilith as his bind but ended up being beheaded instead. Likes to pester Snuffy for one more scene “No. You’re dead, Vlad, get over it.”

Wrathwyn Galloway – Head of the vampire society. Layne’s sire. Was somehow associated with Kitty. Status and whereabouts unknown.

Layne October – Head of the Reprobate vampires and former society vampire. Status and whereabouts unknown.

Cole Greaves – Moon’s brother. Born a witch but with no magical powers so he turned to the Reprobates. Status and whereabouts unknown.

Patrick Stanton – Once made Seth pee himself. According to Kitty, Patrick is the reason Seth has no memory but is unsure of his motivation. Status and whereabouts unknown.

Leilani “Leyla” – A young witch cast out for being a ‘fraud’. Has a dislike of Lilith. Always barefoot.

Bruno Milt – A big, shaggy fellow who smells like wet dog. Frequents the swamp although doesn’t appear to be a witch. Covered in bite marks and scars.

Brodie Milt – Child of Bruno. Budding little witch who thinks they can find crocodiles in the waters of the village.

Mollie Milt – Toddler daughter of Bruno.

Bo Milt – One of the village elders.

Dierdre Snoot – One of the village elders.

Bernard Legg – One of the village elders.

Nathaniel – Captured by Silas when he came by one day selling candles. Fell in love with Lilith and helped her and Caleb escape. Died at the hands of Caleb.

Wilbur Wangshaft – Will’s father and owner of half of the town of Windenburg, including the infamous Tower.

Gloria Ersatz – Former wife of Wilbur. A socialite from prime stock who was most disgruntled at Wilbur casting her aside.

“Little Willy” Wangshaft – Infant son of Will and Beth and believed to be the sole heir to the Wangshaft fortune.

John Spoon – Angeline’s father. Found dead by Seth in 1691 after a dispute between the pair.

Megan – Faith’s first kill and still a sore point.

Danny – the boy who was locked in the basement whom Melinda had to feed off. He escaped when Sage blew up the house.

Paul Pants – Was mauled by a vampire while wandering the forest in his boxers. Still wanders the forest in his boxers seeking an end to his semi-clad torment.

Dale Bar-Guy – One of Will’s friends who definitely did not sleep with April, but got his jaw broken by Caleb regardless.

Joe Taverner – Owner and sole bartender of Joe’s Bar in Forgotten Hollow, a bar that is now way too overstocked with absinthe.

Fred Wino – A miserable old man who keeps Joe in business.

Gertrude Bapflap – Adult film star and Lilith’s best patient. Has a knack for marrying old men who die within the year.

Agatha Bun – Chronic florist window shopper. Caleb once ‘convinced’ her to buy a cactus, prompting Sage to hire him.

Xavier Plaice – Owner of Xavier’s Place, and Wyatt’s boss and landlord. Thought his last tenant was a nightmare but is sure that Wyatt is trustworthy.

Kaylynn Peach – Wyatt’s ‘friend’ who filmed one of their encounters.

Omar Peach – Husband of Kaylynn who was slightly annoyed when he found the video of his wife and Wyatt. Paid the witch a visit and was last seen in April’s clothing outside a medical centre in Evergreen Terrace.

Marjorie Davies – Travis’ late aunt who owned a house in Forgotten Hollow. Found inspiration for her racy novels from a certain undead man-child.

Bluebell “Blu” Balls – Lead singer of Kaz Traitors. Can scream bile like no one else, but has a heart as big as her lungs.

Carlos “Caustic” Evans – Guitarist in Kaz Traitors. Once boned Faith over a dirty sink.

Floppy Funbags – Plays guitar for Kaz Traitors. Cousin of Carlos. Has a cryptic way of talking and is rather deranged.

Nani Banana – Kaz Traitors band member on decks and percussion. Was in a relationship with Carlos which turned very sour, threatening the band itself.

“Sally” – Her appearances include Caleb’s thwarting shopkeeper and as a concerned partygoer.

“Roxie” – Has so far appeared as a terrified prostitute and a bubble blowing partygoer.

“Adam” (or Alan) – Has so far appeared as Faith’s ‘first’, a Kaz Traitors fan and a partygoer.

“Saul” – Has appeared as a partygoer and face down on a bed.

“Snuffy” – Sneakily appears all the time.